Its March now... every time I come to write an update, I find myself at a loss for words. I either don't know how to backtrack and fill in the details that matter, or I realize that there are so many things that have happened that I can't fit it into one post and I get overwhelmed. I guess the most important thing though is that our life has settled.
What a beautiful word that is! Settled. Two synonyms for settled are "adjusted" and "reconciled". I couldn't think of more fitting words.
Life, being what it is, is of course not stagnant or stationary. Changes are always happening as my kids grow and change, and even I can grow and change too, but things are a little sweeter and calmer and easier these days and for that, I am grateful.
I just signed G up for tee ball. He's doing so well now in school and I'm hopeful this will be one more way for him to develop his social skills further and find out that some grownups CAN be trusted... every positive exchange for him will build that trust and show him something kinder about life.
He lost his first tooth, navigated the occasional longer day at school including lunch in the cafeteria, experienced having to adapt to weather related unplanned no school days, vacation days with no vacation, homework, and the holy grail that is BOOK FAIR at school. We moved into our bigger apartment and he has his own bedroom for the first time. My little guy is... settled.
I'm no longer considering myself a stay at home mom however, but I am settling into this odd balance of working evenings so that I am home with G for breakfast, school, and lunch every day, and then he settles into the afternoon with his big sister. He is safe, and he is home, and all three of us are settled into this new balance.
Spring is approaching and I'm sure new changes will skew our settled, balanced, status but that's ok with me. I already know that next school year will see G in school full days and my goal is to switch to a day shift so I'm home every evening with him. In spite of the changes ahead, both the known and the unknown, I see the way the universe cycles through chaos and balance; I see how the more I hold on tight to fears and expectations, the longer it takes to work itself out. I'm not very good at letting go so its taking longer than I hoped to develop those skills, but I know I'll get there!
Here's to embracing change!
