Today I had the privilege of caring for my good friends son B. At 19, B is about 5'8 and outweighs me by a solid 35 lbs. He's blond and blue eyed and is a charming goofball that I've known since he was about 8 months old. He also has autism. My buddy B goes to school and has after school programs and respite workers and weekend classes and more respite workers but during school vacation weeks there are long stretches that he needs care while his parents are both at work. I usually get to hang with B for a day or a few hours of a day in between the other puzzle pieces of other people that help out. Today was my day.
B and G don't always mesh very well. G likes to engage, to play, to ask questions, to get in your space and invade your soul (as 4 years old do). Fortunately, B very clearly will say, "I want to be alone" or "no more questions" and even "close the door". G doesn't quite get it, but we manage it well by going to B's house so he can hide away in his room with his ipad and keep his space (and soul) intact. We make it work and it usually is a great time for all of us. B is very routine oriented so today we had already laid out our plan of when and where for the day and long as B knew what time it was and what the plan was, he was good spirited and cheerful and ready for any adventure. But this isn't actually about B, it's about my little man and something that has changed.
As we were driving in the car today, B held up his two hands with the fingers curved into a heart shape and said, "Dionne, break your heart!" and proceeded to pull his hands apart and then laugh. It was then something he repeated consistently and frequently the rest of the day. I don't know where it came from but I quickly learned that it was best to respond with "yes you did!" or "oh no!"or "not again!" and laugh with him. Well, after the first few times when I said, "no! I'm sad, don't break my heart! I'll cry!" because I hadn't learned the "rules" yet (lol! there are no rules, but you just figure out what works for B and go with it!) G started joining in - but in the sweetest way. As soon as B would say, "Dionne, break your heart!" and before I could even fully say "yes you did!" G would chime in with his little voice from the back seat, "its ok momma, I fixed it!" Over and over, mile after mile, minute after minute, with B "breaking" my heart, and G fixing it.
Yes, G, yes... you fixed my heart...
...and it seems as if his heart is fixed too - that he could reach out with love and kindness to repair a broken heart is a leap for my sweet, funny, tender, tough, wild-boy... and now we have balance there at last.
