I used to work in a grocery store. I stood at a cash register and passed the time noting the odd items people bought and what it might mean or what insight it gave to that person. The guy buying chocolates, candy, and condoms was obviously hopeful. Equally obvious tho was the female buying chocolate, potato chips, salad, and tampons. The salad wasn’t fooling anyone! The occasional oddball with Mac and cheese, frozen meals, 2 liters of soda, and an expensive, specialty brand jar of cornichons. Was he going to eat them straight from the jar with his frozen weight watcher meal? It makes me giggle to buy oddball things on occasion now, wondering what the cashier may be thinking. Did I really need that package of pancetta along with my stony farms organic baby yogurt and my vegan and gluten free waffles? Yes, yes I did!
Today as I was checking out from the library I sheepishly said to the librarian, as I unloaded an overflowing armful of books, that it was a little like going to the store for milk but walking out with a $50 order. She laughed and agreed and then said, “oh I like this title!” while pointing to one book in my pile. The book? It was “The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F*ck” that she was referencing. In my typically awkward way I just smiled and said, “yeah, that one seemed to call to me today”. And I didn’t give on f*ck at all what she thought.
Scratch that. I did, totally, I gave all of the f*cks actually. But that’s why I got the book - to learn how not to!
I also got books on grieving the loss of your parents because all these years later I still miss my mom so much that it makes me cry. I miss my dad too... I can still hear his voice in my head sometimes. I also got home decorating books and some trashy fiction. A well rounded selection overall. Although maybe some of the books seem like the “salad” part of a mostly junk food grocery trip!
Now I’m going to curl up for hours at a time, (well, maybe in 10 minutes increments!) and read and learn and gather info and daydream. Because I want to. In the minutiae of parenting I sometimes forget to do things that I want to do, things that make me happy, not big grand things, but small things like sitting down to read a book with a cup of tea. So that is where you’ll find me for the next foreseeable future; curled up with a book and some tea. Drop by and visit if you’d like!
