Dear Jenni; 2022

 Hey Lil Brev!

Hakuna matata!

Wassup!??

I can sign that question in ASL now, ‘Wassup’; ASL is something I always wanted to learn and now I am starting to: in small bits and pieces, courtesy of Tik-tok and you-tube.  It’s been a long time coming.   “I” have been a long time coming if that makes any sense… it’s been a long two years and I’m slowly starting to come out of it.

Some W1 peeps (and me!) are getting together on Monday at The “local place we go to” for a dinner, in honor of you.  It’ll be 2 years since you left us. (And I’m still pissed off about it!)

Believe it or not, it was “Marty” that reached out and asked if we could meet.  He’s such a good boi! Remember Martin used to be nervous of me? Me!! No one is ever really nervous about me!  But I yelled at him when he was brand new to W1, on a snowy night, when I followed him into the parking garage and he hadn’t cleared his suv of snow and it blew back onto the windshield of my little car - I was so mad and yelled at him like he was my own son - “dude! That’s literally illegal! You have to clear your roof of the snow cuz it’s dangerous for people behind you!”  He was shocked - not to mention it was just the beginning of Covid and he was a brand new baby nurse.  He turned out good Jenni - can you see him?  

You were the one that started calling him “Marty”…  no one else does - but I still think of him that way. Our boi… he actually gave me an attitude check recently - tables turned 100%!  He’s a good one Jenni.

Thomas was also nervous of me for awhile too.  He said it’s the quiet ones that are dangerous and because I was so quiet it made him nervous.  He’s not wrong - but I’m not scary, I’m a doormat! LOL - sometimes when I get all riled up tho, I say, “I’m channeling Jenni!”… no one ever stepped on you without a little comment! I’m working on my “inner-Jenni” lol!

You never made anyone nervous Jenni - scared maybe, lol, but not nervous! You were always out there, loud and up front and keeping your anxieties quietly deep inside.  I’m glad I got to see the inside of you, the whole of you, the real you.  You have some secrets of mine that I told you, and only you, because we had some shared experiences.  You took my secrets with you.  I’ll keep yours with me.  I promise.

I still have our last text - from that night you flew away.  I asked you if you needed a ride to work the next morning… you texted back: “nope! not working!”

I can’t delete it.  How true it ended up being….

Two years babe… no one asking, “so, lemme ask you a question..” in that special tone that said “I know I’m right but can you validate?”… no one to help me with these GD plants and the GD gnats.  No one to drive to or from work, no one to sing Hakuna Matata with, no one to gripe n bitch with… at least not in the same way as I could with you. I miss you Jenni. You know I’m not the only one.

As far as W1 goes, Covid is different.  Working on the floor is different.  All the newbies are different.  But hey - Jojo and Dot are the same!! That’s something I guess.

Since you’ve been gone I changed jobs twice.  Yep - I left W1.  Can you believe it??  Sometimes “I” can’t believe it.  

Donna lost her husband and her heart is shattered. And there is nothing anyone can do to heal her heart…but we try.  Britt died too… as Donna said, “now THATS bullshit!”

Nick left… and there is no one original left on the desk but Donna.  It’s so weird and foreign, the way life just keeps going on even when people are crashing and burning, or taking flight and thriving… life and living is all just so mind-boggling!!

Sometimes I think you are cheering us on in your own way: “dude, wh’the  fuck!” And “Get over it!” And “lemme ask you a question.,, do ya really think that’s ok?”

I hope I always hear you lil brev…  in my own way, in OUR own way… and every time I spill ice cream on your hoodie I will know it’s you.

2 years babe… gone but not forgotten… 

Love,

D