When I started this blog it was August 2016 and I was trying to figure out to how move forward from a time when my child had been mistreated abused for months by his daycare provider and I, a single mom, chose to quit my job and stay home with him.
Today it is June of 2025 and let me say: time flies whether you are having fun or not!
That 3 and a half year old little boy who was hurt and had huge trust issues and a penchant for striking out when scared (or running away) has become a 13 year old man-child, who excels at Karate, at musical instruments, who loves nature camp, who has a PLAN for high school and dual enrollment at WPI and a goal of attending MIT. He has friends, teachers who value him, supportive and encouraging adults that show up for him, he can have a hard conversation and can stand up for himself. He can mow a lawn, do laundry, clean a bathroom, and cook a meal. He is ok. I repeat: He is OK.
I had help of course - therapists and sacrifices and prayer, my friends who listened and loved, and his never faltering big sis - but I did it. There were dicey moments, scary moments, so much worry and doubt and fear and some of that was recent but... he is ok, and I did that. I've had 6 different jobs since then, working around his needs, but I did it. I kept us in our same apartment, kept him in the same school district, kept him with the same friends he's known since kindergarten, prioritized a routine to see his father regularly and include his father in every big moment, taught him to love and care for pets, encouraged his older siblings to stay close, and gave him every opportunity to explore his interests and to meet his needs. I'm tooting my own horn cuz baby? No one else is gonna do it.
In the grand scheme of all that is 'life', there will be mountains to climb and valleys to traverse, and therapists to see still... but what was a terrified and locked down challenge of a hurt small boy has become an evolving and open and forward thinking young man... with a loving and dedicated and consistent momma.
And now maybe it's time to approach life in the way everyday normal people do: with trepidation and caution and openness and hope instead of sweat and tears and painfully considered double guessed choices. Maybe now we can just... live? No, not "maybe now" but... Now. Now we can just go out there and live without a shadow over us, without over thinking and doubt and second guesses. Because he is ok... He is OK... and I did that. I made him ok after all.
This past weekend we went on a scenic train ride. We rode outbound on a track to a specific stop, the engine unhooked, moved around or 'switched' position, rehooked, and we came back the same way we had come. The scenery was different on the way back, the way the air came into the windows and ruffled our hair was different. The sound of the train horn was different because all of it came from a different position, even though we traveled the same exact track. Same train, same seats, same track, different view. Toot Toot...
Listen; life is hard. The challenges we face are different for each of us and the way we approach and overcome those challenges is going to be different. Same train, same seats, same track, different view. Toot your own horn when you need to. Congratulate yourself. Appreciate yourself and your efforts. You did good... toot toot!