Monday 9/12; Week 6

When you do not have a job, and aren't actively seeking one, the days can all run into each other with little variation, a Wednesday feeling the same as a Saturday for instance.  I suppose if I were a super scheduled routine oriented person it might be different.  I have tried that route - the first few days of staying home with G I sought out all the local activities we could go to on any given day and put them all on the calendar.  Some days it seemed we had to choose between two or even three activities that were all happening at the same time.  As much as G likes to go out and do things though (he is super smart and has a very very busy brain that leads him into trouble when he is bored) he also does not like to have to be on a schedule, preferring to go at his own pace, transition when he feels ready, and to have a lot of control over his own self.  Don't we all?  I suppose there is benefit in learning how to adapt to enforced routines, scheduled transitions, etc in preparation for school and life etc but right now is OUR time.  Time for G to get to know himself, trust his environment, trust me, and gain back some control that he lost when an adult decided to steal that away him.

As I've moved through the past 5 weeks I've battled with myself about how to navigate this time. Should I be structuring our days? Should I be limiting kindle/tv screen time?  Should I be doing specific preschool activities with him?  Should we join a class of some kind? Go to story-time? Do educational activities at museums?  I mean, isn't that what GOOD parents do?  According to Pinterest, I should be cooking with him, setting up sensory play stations, doing science experiments with food coloring and dish soap, or I could be journaling with him, we could learn music together on youtube, we could volunteer somewhere - oh all the ways I am failing my son are right there on Pinterest, let me tell you!  But after last week, in which we did absolutely nothing, every single day, and in which G woke up when he wanted to, napped in the car on a drive to pick up H (or didn't nap at all) and went to bed whenever he was so tired that his behavior resembled flying monkeys... I think its again coming down to balance.  Some days neither of us have the energy to pull it all together in time to get to a story hour, or I don't feel like dealing with the unknown factors of going to a place we've never been to do an activity he might not even enjoy.  Watching G zoom around the backyard talking to himself as he imagines superheroes fighting off giant spiders, or seeing him come inside to get his own water by getting his stool and climbing up to reach the tap, or listening to him explain a drawing he's made of a submarine with wings and rocket boosters and a special port for 'the guys' to get out, or building lego's with him seem like a pretty good way to spend our time.  We go grocery shopping and make friends with anyone who will smile back.  We go to the playground and practice sharing and taking turns.  We read signs and labels.  We are doing a pretty good job I think.

This weekend did show me, again, that I do need to watch out for G's level of over stimulation and his overall mood before subjecting ourselves to anything extra.  Going to the playground at 3:30 in the afternoon on a hot day when he didn't nap and was already fractious was probably not my wisest choice.  But no blood was shed so I call that a win!  He is still fighting off a cold from last week complete with stuffy nose and occasional cough, and he has a couple of mosquito bites which he has big reactions to so we will still keep it low key again this week.  I do have a new employee orientation coming up and I feel a little anxiety about the upcoming training I have to do and the amount of time I'll need to be away from him and how that will play out but I have trusted the universe with all things lately so I'm trusting it with this thing as well.  I'll need some consistent childcare for 4 days in a row for a couple of weeks and I am hopeful I can find something that works for G without disrupting him too much.  He doesn't do very well when his older siblings are in charge and I'm sure I know why, but getting them on board to make things better hasn't been very successful!

So here we are.  Week 6.  G doesn't talk about preschool at all.  He's mentioned one or two friends but only once or twice.  He's so amazing and I"m so glad I get to spend this time with hims whether its unstructured or routine, whether it's boring errands or pinterest worthy activities.  Watching him grow and change is a gift, even on the bad days when both of us cry.  Ever since the day I made him sit on the couch with the little guy I was nannying so they could 'work it out', he suggests that as a resolution to just about every problem.  If I say, "G, I really need you to stop/start XYZ so how can we come up with a solution?" He replies, "how 'bout we sit on the couch and work it out?"  Makes me laugh every time!  And we do, though.  We sit on the couch, we talk, and we work things out.  I love that this has become something he sees as a valuable tool.  I feel like we are just entering a stage where I can start seeing more positive changes as he feels more and more settled into our new way of living.  There were donuts for breakfast today so life feels pretty good to him!  There will be carrots at lunch though, because, balance...