It's almost 9pm and G is asleep. His daddy carried him into the house and I pulled off his flip-flops before he was nestled down into his bed. Now the TV is on low and I sit and contemplate all that this day has been, and all that it hasn't, and all that it could have been.
If I were working, as I was just a week ago, I would have been stressed trying to clear out my "task bucket" before the weekend, put out any fires that erupted as the day went on (and many, many fires always erupt on a Friday in a medical clinic!). I would have been frantically trying to type letters and do a mail merge and get them all in the outgoing box before 2pm, I would have been scheduling last minute emergency outpatient testing (mammograms, ultrasounds, CT scans...) and getting insurance authorizations for such procedures before companies close down. I would have been stressed about leaving on time so I could get to daycare on time - I would have been thinking about traffic and the time difference between myself and my oldest in a time zone 3 hours away and thinking about my brother in a time zone 6 hours away. I would have been thinking about how freaking hot it was and what my apartment would feel like when I finally got home and how much I would NOT feel like cooking when it was 87 and humid INSIDE...I would have been thinking about all the things I needed to do over the weekend like ironing, grocery shopping, bill paying, all mixed up with whether I was going to get an "incident report" from daycare and if my sweet gentle boy was going to watch me receive the news of all his "bad behaviors"...
But I didn't work today. Or at all this week even. So today felt less like a Friday, and more like a...um...I don't know, a Wednesday? I didn't even realize it was FRIDAY. In fact, I had an appointment at 10:30 that I kind of mistakenly showed up for at 10. At least I wasn't late? Today was like any other day: we got up, we ate food, we played... and then I thought I was late and I scrambled like hell to get somewhere early. Yeah... that's about right! How did I ever do this before for 12 years?
We did another "play date/interview" today and I had the foresight to leave G at home with H for the first part so I could really focus on the mom and the kids and really connect with them. That was, in hindsight, a really good choice. Last time it hadn't gone so well when I had G with me. This time was actually delightful and I had to really remind myself that kids are always nicer for strangers. Then I brought those delightful children back to my place to play with G and reality set in. G hasn't had a lot of experience with having friends over to play. So he was REALLY excited...and really hyped up, and he was tired and hot and hungry. Which, as any parent knows, is pretty much a recipe for "shit show". We planned on using the sprinkler so they were all in their suits and sun-screened up and ready to go, we had the spiderman sprinkler set up and spinning, and then the whining commenced. "NO! Thats NOT how to do it! No! Don't hold it down like that! NOOOO don't spray me! NOOOOO don't do THAT!" Ugh. It was MY kid mostly, although I did hear the big sister of the other two reprimand her little brother once or twice. I felt like a referee in a sport I didn't understand. As if someone had pulled me aside and said, "ok, so there are three kids of various ages and sizes and you get to determine who is right and who is wrong in ALL of EVERYTHING ok? so, GO!" I performed about as well as the contestants in that event. Taking them home felt a little like relief...
Then we went to G's dad house - a house we used to live in; a house with multiple a/c units, multiple rooms, a place with room to prep and cook...and I made dinner for 3 while G played and I got bogged down in memories...but thats beside the point. Several times during the day, G had whined about being bored, about not having any fun, about not EVER getting to do ANYTHING: after I let him choose when to take off his pullup, when to get dressed and what to wear, what to play with his friends, which side of the car to put his car seat on, and what food to bring over to his dad's. I was a little exasperated! I might have been a little "snappish". But only maybe. Once we were there, he was such a quiet happy little introvert; just like his momma. I cooked, he played, and when his daddy arrived, we ate together quietly and peacefully. And then I left and he stayed behind to play with his daddy.
So ends day Five. A glass of wine, a sleeping child, a bowl full of chex mix... and an episode of Criminal Minds - all is well in the world! Until tomorrow...because Saturday as a SAHM is pretty much just like a...Wednesday....
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